You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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