yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
