ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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