Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
