Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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