I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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