Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
