i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
