Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
