I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
