We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
