Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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