Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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