The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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