we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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