I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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