seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
either way he was missing a nipple.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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