Even the bartender felt bad for me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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