Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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