She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
