Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
