I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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