Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
