super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
