Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So many bounce houses so little time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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