Don't you send me to vm
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
