Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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