Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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