Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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