Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize