I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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