nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
