Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
