everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
should my penis look like a turkey
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
