Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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