Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we're making bets on your personal life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
