i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
