When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
