Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
