that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"