explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone