sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.