on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
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guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.