He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole