What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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