Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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