Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
