Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
