Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
