I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize