i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
