he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
