Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Life is so much better after having sex.
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do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize