brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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