I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
