Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

(817): View more from Texas

dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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(352): View more from Florida

... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents

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(540): View more from Virginia

A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.

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(740): View more from Ohio

At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.

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