she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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Ketchup is God's man juice
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize