i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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