What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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