operation have a gay friend backfired
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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