I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
