love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
