For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
