Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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