"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
