Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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