Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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