Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
